100 ways to Annoy Luke Castellan
by kronos army
Summary: title says it all... flames will be used to roast s'mores
1. Chapter 1

A HUNDRED WAYS TO ANNOY LUKE CASTELLAN

1. Tell him that Thalia hates him

2. Tell him Annabeth doesn't love him

3. Tell him he isn't Hermes' favourite son

4. Tell him Percy Jackson kicked his a***

5. Make him watch Hannah Montana

6. Make him dress up like Miley Cyrus

7. Make him sing Miley Cyrus

8. Force him to watch Spongebob

9. When Plankton appears say to him "that's a proper villain!"

10. Give him girls make-up and say it's a birthday gift from Kronos

11. Tell him he's Kronos' vessel and not even important enough to have his own body

12. tell him the Olympians defeated him easily

13. Ask him if he feels upset that Thalia will never love him

14. Make him read the Harry potters and say "even Hagrid could beat you you loser."

15. Ask him "did it hurt when you stabbed yourself?"

16. Call him an emo for stabbing himself

17. Tell him he'll never have a girlfriend

18. Ask him if his mom's o.k.

19. Ask him does her eyes turn gold as well

20. Force him to watch Justin Beiber

21. Force him to sing Justin Beiber

22. Tell him Kronos is hosting a party for all the bad guys but he's not invited as he's no villain

23. Dye his hair black and say "the Titans made me do it"

24. Tell him Thalia wants you to know she's dating Chiron

25. In the middle of conversations randomly shout "Thief!" when he's near

26. Call him a Thief and a doctor then tell him to heal his stab wound

27. Give him chocolate near Kronos and see him go berserk

28. Make him sing Dora the explorer

29. Make him watch Dora the explorer

30. Make him eat chocolate then reveal it's actually dog poop

31. Force him to call Percy a god when he sees him

32. Tell him that he's so weak even Argus could have beat you!

33. Take all his clothes when he's in the shower and say the "Drakons must have done it!"

34. Whisper in his ear ten times an hour " oh no it's Zeus looking to kill you!" then watch him run away screaming.

35. Make him declare his love for Annabeth in front of Thalia.

36. Make him drink toilet water and tell him It will make him immortal.

37. Make him tell Kronos "I love you."

38. Make him bake cookies and buy beanie babies and tell him he's just like his mum

39. Challenge him to a fight then back out saying you'd easily win and don't want to embarrass him

40. Make him declare his love of Justin Beiber

41. Make him declare his love of Miley Cyrus

42. Force him to declare his love of Spongebob

43. Tell him he is Patrick's boyfriend

44. Ask him if Spongebob hates him for dating Patrick

45. Tell him even Squidward has more talent than him.

46. Make him wear lipstick and say "oh it was you Luke and not a girl."

47. Tell him he's unloved

48. Ask him to meet you at a place dressed like a monster then when he goes there reveal it's a two year olds party

49. Give him a knife and ask him if he'll kill himself yet

50. Say he's not Kronos' favourite.

51. Get him to ring up Rhea and pretend to be Kronos then laugh as she blasts him

52. Tell Thalia he's stalking her then watch as she kicks his butt.

53. Do the same as 52 with Annabeth

54. Same as the last two with Percy

55. Same with Rachel

56. Same with Chiron

57. Hit him with a stick then say you was told to by Kronos

58. Steal his weapons then say Percy must have done it.

59. Tell him he'll never escape Kronos

60. Whisper to him when he's escaped Kronos "Kronos is behind you."

61. Ask him why he still doesn't have a girlfriend

62. Make him sing Spongebob songs

63. Make him attempt to teach Tyson that hippocampus are not "rainbow fish"

64. Make him go to Olympus and tell all the gods that he is about to overthrow them

65. Set up a blind date and not tell him its clarisse

66. Set him up on a date and not say its his mom whilst in glowing eyes mode

67. Burn his house down and tell him the monsters must be chasing him again

68. Burn his cookies then force-feed him them whilst saying "yum right?" and if he says "no." hit him around the head

69. Bury him in the Labyrinth then when Kronos asks for him tell Kronos he deserted him.

70. Hit him around the head again

71. Force him to watch Avatar: The Last Air bender

72. Tell him Zuko is a real villain and he fails… again

73. Tie him up, lift him in the air and beat him with a stick yelling "PINYATA!"74. Make him hold up the sky for Atlas again then run off leaving him there alone to struggle.

75. Throw him into Tartarus after TLO and tell Kronos "you have a new playmate today." and watch as Kronos disembowels him

76. Force him to start a conversation with, then listen to for hours Donkey from Shrek

77. Break all his bones and for each one name a person who died because of Luke.

78. Give Ethan Nakamura a second eye again by taking away one of Luke's and giving it to him.

79. Burn him alive

80. Tell him the only way anyone will ever remember him is if he throws himself into Tartarus then watch as he does

81. Give him a pair of Hermes' shoes and as he puts them on tell him you cursed them and watch as he is dragged to camp Half-Blood and beaten up.

82. Stab him in his left armpit and say as he dies "sorry I thought you were a thief but you'd fail at that!"

83. Whip him and then throw him into Tartarus

84. Force him to sit and watch Eastenders ( British readers will know what I mean)

85. Force him to watch Emmerdale

86. Tell him if he throws himself off a cliff then he will defeat Percy then watch as he does and it doesn't beat Percy

87. Tell him even Chiron is more of a villain than him

88. Throw him off the empire state building then tell him to land on his feet

89. Throw him off Olympus and tell him you'll catch him. Probably

90. Drown him

91. Tar and feather him

92. Blast him with Zeus' master bolt

93. Impale him on Poseidon's trident

94. Slice him into bits with Kronos' scythe

95. Send Thalia and the others a present with Luke inside and when they open it watch as they cut him to shreds.

96. Ask Annabeth to marry him then watch as she slaps him for wanting to marry her.

97. Watch Percy punch him for asking that

98. Watch Thalia kick him for asking that.

99. Tell the other Titans that it's Luke's fault they lost and watch as they gut him like a fish.

100. Repeat all of the above 1000X and if you fail to…...

BE DAMNED TO THE PITS OF TARTARUS TO ROT IN BOILING ACID AS VULTURES PECK OUT YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS AND YOUR EYES ARE GOUIGED OUT WITH BOULDERS COLLAPSING ONTO YOUR HEAD WHILST YOU ARE TORTURED WITH CLASSICAL AND 1980'S MUSIC.


	2. AN READ

Unless you've been living under a rock today, you'll know that Richard Griffiths (Vernon Dursley) has died aged 65. R.I.P to a true acting legend. On a brighter note, however, I finally got my inspiration back yesterday, so fear not! I will be updating all of these stories, soon enough.


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